My Testimony, Part 3

I met Michael on the Tinder dating app - yes, we both swiped right. When we met, and I found out he was a Mormon, I remember having the thought that I could convert him and evangelize him to my Christianity. How silly I was and how Heavenly Father must've giggled at my plan. Anyway, the first theological discussion we had was on the topic of grace. We spoke about how it's more than just a free gift to take and use as freedom to do as we please, and then go to Heavenly Father and ask for forgiveness. I was intrigued, but not quite convinced just yet. So, we kept talking. At this point, I had forgotten about my Joseph Smith prayer, but I kept moving forward, and I'm so thankful and glad that I did. Michael and I began having more and more of these types of conversations, many more. Doctrinal conversations that "normal" investigators of the church don't normally have, but Heavenly Father knew I had to have in order to slowly become even more interested. Remember that lacking feeling I mentioned before? The lacking feeling of the gift of the Holy Ghost? Well I began to feel things. I began to feel my spirit testifying to the deep truths of the things Michael and I were talking about. I began to feel a burning in my bosom, something I had always longed for but never understood; a warmth and excitement, a joy and an overwhelming happiness! I could barely contain it, and every time it happened, I had to cry tears of immense joy. So, time went on, and I learned more, my light grew, and my knowledge deepened.

The biggest part of my testimony, the biggest reason why I came to the church and am now a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is because I can't doubt the Holy Ghost. I cannot doubt what I have felt deep in my soul. I cannot doubt what the Lord has put in my path and caused to come to pass. The fulness of the gospel is found in this church, I have no doubts. Joseph Smith is a true prophet called by God to bring the restoration of this true church in these latter days to fruition; he saw Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father in the flesh and was given the priesthood by Peter, James, and John, also in the flesh. I testify of these things in the name of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, Amen.

As time has gone on, my testimony has grown. Last October of 2014, Heavenly Father caused me to run into a pair of Chinese-speaking missionaries at a Target in Irvine while I was with Michael one day. If I had been alone, I never would've walked up to them, but because I was with Michael, he urged me to go up to them and give them my number. I did, and they passed it along to the English-speaking missionaries, who called me shortly thereafter. We spoke a few times here and there every couple of weeks, but I wasn't ready to meet with them yet, not because I wasn't ready to be converted, but because I wasn't ready to share with my family and friends that I would be adding unto the faith that I had grown up with. (Not leaving it behind, just adding onto. Mormonism is the fulness of the Gospel, and I already had the majority of my cup filled up.) Anyway, by the time January came around, I knew it was time. 2015 was to be the Year of Healing for me, and what better way to begin healing than to become a member of the Church of Jesus Christ? I also knew that I now knew too much, and I would be held responsible for all I knew, so I had to make a decision: so on January 5th, I called up the missionaries and asked them to meet, and then on January 8th, we did! We went through all of the amazing lessons, where I learned so much more, where I gained an even greater testimony of the Spirit and of the pre-mortal existence (a lesson for another time), and where I set a baptismal date for March 21st!

And March 21st was the very best day of my life. There were about 50-60 people at my baptism, there was cake, a candy table, snacks, great speakers, a ukelele hymn, so many amazing missionaries whom I love, and I received a basket from my ward full of all the books every member should own, including my very own scriptures inscribed with my name on them! The next day though, I received the best gift I've ever received, the gift I've waited for my entire life: the gift of the Holy Ghost. Ever since then, ever since that most special day, I have lived without anger, without insecurity, I have lived with a constant companion to walk with me every single day whom I am so very grateful for.

I am so grateful for my testimony. So grateful for all of the amazing elders and members who taught me, who prayed and fasted for me, who continue to, and who walk alongside me in this life, encouraging me and loving me. Thank you.

My Testimony, Part 2

Once I moved back to Pennsylvania, about nine months passed before I really took any action of any kind. That's when I began blogging and took up a part-time job as a sales associate at American Eagle Outfitters. Around March of 2010, I discovered a purpose I desired and that was to go back to school. I had been going to physical therapy for my fibromyalgia for a few months and thought it would be really awesome to go to school to be a physical therapist assistant; to help others in ways I'd been helped myself. So, I began looking into schooling, and discovered I wanted something other than PTA school but wasn't quite sure what yet, so I began taking gen ed classes in the summer of 2010 (best decision I had made in a long time). It got me back into the classroom, around people again, got my brain active, especially because doing nothing for those 9 months since being home from NTBI really took a toll on me mentally and caused some dark depression. School was a great decision, one that still makes me proud and excited to have done to this day. Once fall of 2010 came around, I signed up for more classes, this time declaring my major to be English - I am a huge grammar, spelling, editing, and literature nut - and couldn't have been happier. I finished fall semester, and then spring semester, then met a guy in February of 2011.

This guy happened to be friends with a really good friend of mine, Meg, whom I had gone to church with and somewhat grown up with, someone I had looked up to, but had fallen away from since she had moved to California for school. This guy was hard on my heart, didn't protect it, played with it as if it were a toy, so much so that I had a horrible panic attack... this led me to open back up to Meg once again, reach out to her, and she invited me to come visit her out in California that March of 2011. So, I went. While I was there, I fell in love with it. I had been out to visit one other time and loved it, but never thought twice about perhaps I could move out here. Well, this time around was different. This time I truly thought about it, because I felt something. So, I began praying while I was on this trip. Nobody knew what was going on inside my heart besides Heavenly Father and myself, and my last night in California, a gentleman whom I had never met prayed over me; he prophesied into my life, praying a Bible verse from the book of Revelation, where God is speaking and he spoke directly to me, saying "I have opened a door, and I am asking you to walk through it." That was the clearest sign I could've asked for, so I decided then and there that I would be moving to California, and that whatever hardships would come my way, God would turn those mountains into flat land. And He did!

And there was this guy I met during my visit, Dan, whom I thought to be very handsome, but I didn't know yet that I was to move out to California when I met him, so I thought nothing of it. Well, when I went back to PA and now knew I would be moving to CA, I went onto Facebook and added Dan as a friend and we began talking - so much so that we began long-distance dating. I then moved to California 2 months later on May 31st, 2011 and about a month and a half later on July 6th, Dan proposed and we were engaged. 6 months later on December 31st, we were married. As you can tell, things moved rather quickly, but I believe that amongst a thousand other lessons and reasons during my marriage, a huge one was to get me out to California to soften my heart toward the LDS church. Fast forward two and a half years and a heck of a lot of pain on both ends, Dan and I began discussing divorce. Because of this divorce talk, I prayed what I now call my Joseph Smith prayer, or my Nephi prayer. I prayed because I knew I was missing out on something: the gift of the Holy Ghost talked about in the New Testament was something I had never experienced, and something I was confused about why I had never experienced it before, and it left me asking questions, many many questions, hard questions. The main question I asked Heavenly Father was, what was my religion missing? I wanted the full truth, the entire truth, all of it, and nothing besides the truth, and I would do whatever it took to get there, no matter what, even if it had been a religion I had made fun of in the past, or mocked, I would have the truth. That was my prayer.

A couple months later, I met Michael, and everything changed.

Part 3 coming soon!

I'm Back!

I've been meaning to post for a while now, specifically at my one year anniversary of no longer blogging, but life has been overwhelming, and I'm honestly a little bit afraid of being judged for a couple things I've got to update you all on. Anyway, like I've said a thousand times before (even though you can't see now, as I've turned every post prior into a draft), this is my blog and I'll write from my heart as I please. ♥

Some news:

1. I'm divorced.
2. My fibromyalgia has been pretty bad, specifically my chronic fatigue. I'm constantly sleeping, constantly having to deny plans with friends, constantly zoning out mid-text conversation and falling asleep. It's irritating and makes me feel so boring.
3. In March of this year, March 21st to be exact, I got baptized into The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints! Best day of my entire life!!! I can't tell you how happy I am, how proud of my testimony I am, how Heavenly Father has shown Himself to be so faithful time and again, and how amazing it is to be a member! I am so grateful and so thankful! I am a Mormon! (One of these days I'll be posting my testimony.)



I also have a new job; I'm a medical receptionist and physical therapist assistant for a functional neurologist! It's going well. To be honest, I'm strongly considering moving to Utah this winter, and am going to visit in two weeks which should give me a solid idea of what I should do - I'm excited! Nervous for life changes, as always; taking Heavenly Father's words to heart, not to "run faster than I am able." Well, I've had a migraine for 8 days now and just popped a muscle relaxer, and that's kicking in, so I'm going to take a nap! Have a happy Saturday and I can't wait to blog more, and hear back from you all soon! xoxo